Living the “One Anothers”

The Christian life was never designed for spectators.

Read through the letters of the New Testament and you will notice a small phrase that appears again and again: "one another." Love one another. Bear one another's burdens. Forgive one another. Pray for one another. Depending on how you count, the phrase appears dozens of times.

Those two words tell us something important about the Christian life. It was never meant to be lived alone. Many of the commands of the New Testament cannot be obeyed by a person who keeps to himself. You cannot bear another person's burden if you never get close enough to know what it is.

A Family, Not an Audience

It is possible to attend church for years as a spectator. We arrive, sit, listen, sing and leave, and no one really knows us. That may feel safe, but it falls far short of what God designed.

Paul describes the church as a body: "For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ" (1 Corinthians 12:12). He goes on to say that no part of the body can say to another, "I have no need of thee" (1 Corinthians 12:21). Each member needs the others, and each member is needed.

The New Testament also calls the church a household. Paul tells the Ephesians that they are "no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God" (Ephesians 2:19). In a family, people know each other, care for each other and share life together. The "one another" commands describe what that looks like.

Love One Another

The foundation of them all is love. On the night before His death, Jesus said, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" (John 13:34).

The command to love was not new in itself. What was new was the standard: "as I have loved you." Jesus had just washed His disciples' feet, the job of the lowest servant. Within hours He would lay down His life for them. That is the measure of love He sets before His people.

This kind of love is more than warm feeling. It is a decision to seek another person's good, even at cost to yourself.

Bear One Another's Burdens

Paul wrote, "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). A burden is a weight too heavy to carry alone. It might be grief, illness, financial strain, a struggling marriage or a besetting sin.

Bearing burdens means noticing when someone is weighed down and stepping in to help. It might look like a meal, a ride, a phone call, an afternoon of yard work or simply sitting with someone in their sorrow. Paul told the Romans to "rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep" (Romans 12:15).

It also requires humility from the one who is struggling. We have to let others see our burdens. Many believers suffer alone because they are too proud or too ashamed to ask for help.

Forgive One Another

Wherever people live closely together, they will hurt each other. Church is no exception. That is why Paul wrote, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32).

The motive for forgiveness is the gospel itself. We have been forgiven a debt we could never pay. When we remember that, holding a grudge against a brother or sister begins to look very small.

Encourage and Exhort One Another

The writer of Hebrews gives this charge: "And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another" (Hebrews 10:24–25).

The word "consider" means to think carefully. We are to think about one another, asking how we might stir each other up to love and good works. That requires time together. You cannot encourage people you never see.

Hebrews also warns that sin is deceitful and hardens the heart, which is why we are to "exhort one another daily" (Hebrews 3:13). Christian friends who speak truth in love are one of God's chief protections against drifting.

Pray for One Another

James writes, "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed" (James 5:16). There are few gifts more powerful than knowing that someone is regularly bringing your name before God.

Prayer also changes the one who prays. It is hard to stay bitter toward someone you are praying for, and hard to remain distant from someone whose needs you carry to God each day.

Where to Begin

The "one anothers" can feel overwhelming. No one can do all of them for everyone. But each of us can begin with a few people.

Ask God to show you two or three believers you could know more deeply this season. Invite someone for a meal. Ask a friend how you can pray for them, and then follow up. Join a small group or serving team where relationships can grow. Be willing to share your own needs as well as meet the needs of others.

Jesus said the world would recognize His followers by their love for one another (John 13:35). Every "one another" you practice is a small sign to a watching world of what Christ has done.